Damn its cold...

I was building the worlds greatest dog house for the worlds greatest German Shepherd when I got to thinking about people from different regions of the United States, in particularly people from Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Ohio. I will begin my extremely accurate and detailed analysis of these states with Wisconsin and Minnesota. I have traveled all over Europe with several people from these states. Also, I have several acquaintances from there. It seems that I only am with these people during cold months. While in Europe it was January, the other friends it was Christmas. I love how these people react when someone makes a comment about the weather, especially the cold here in Indiana. For instance, I would walk in from the freezing cold and say "brrr it is cold outside" probably because it was 10 degrees. Every one of them would respond with a similar response such as, "Cold, its like summer outside. In (enter city of your choice from either state here) it would be -9000 degrees with 89 ft of snow." First off, it obviously isn't that cold in the summer there. Second, it is still cold here and nobody compared it to your god forsaken state. Third, obviously its going to be cold you're the northern most state in the Union and you're right on the fucking lakes. I feel like nobody from Wisconsin or Minnesota have done anything spectacular with their lives so they can only brag about their awful winters and miserable living conditions throughout the cold months. There is another state with terrible winters nearby and it is Michigan. However, Michigan people realize that yes it is Michigan and it will be cold in the winter and everyone knows it is cold so therefore they do not have to compare their piece of shit state with others. If we gave Wisconsin and Minnesota to Canada everyone would benefit. They would bitch about the cold and their fellow Canadians would simply say, "yeah its Canada eh, you're the Florida of Canada eh, quit bitching eh." So they would then have to grow up and find something else to brag about. And possibly the greatest thing to happen would be the loss of Brett Favre to Canada.

Next subject is Ohio. Ohio State fans are douche bags. Everyone from Ohio gets off when Ohio State wins. Furthermore, nobody can ever talk about their favorite university in the presence of an Ohio State fan. You will never win an argument about your school. Every Ohio State fan knows every fact and figure about Ohio State. It legitimately is their porn that they get off to every night. I have, however, found one statement that will eliminate the smiles from most Fuckeyes. Just change your conversation to something with the SEC. They will forever be reminded of their continual defeats by that conference and may even cry.

"Two condoms walk into a bar, they immediately see that it is a gay bar so one looks to the other and says 'looks like we're getting shitfaced tonight.'" Classic from the pig breeder.