Oh Religion...

I love people who believe that their religion can get them out of all problems. People pray to a voice in their head that obviously tells them exactly what they want to hear. They read a book written about a man who convinced a bunch of people to follow him and was eventually put to death as a terrorist and written by a bunch of men who never even knew this man. It would be like me writing a book about Hitler and making him bigger than life. To be brutally honest the "Old Testament" as those of the religious world like to refer to it as is copied from ancient stories such as the Epic of Gilgamesh. Furthermore, who is to say that Jesus wasn't just a kick ass sales man. He made weak people in a time of turmoil believe him. Wow like that hasn't been done a million times before.

Personally, I believe in Buddhism. Tiger Woods was an excellent Buddhist because he took long naps (meditation), he fucked sluts (sought pleasure), and sunk putts (karma). Buddhism is the perfect religion. You don't need to go to a corrupt church and give money to a corrupt preacher. You also don't have to wake up early to listen to some person tell you how much you have sinned the past week.

P.S. Thank you handjob for becoming my first official follower.

A piece of advice:
If you need to use baby powder to find the wet spot then the chick is too big.