What the fuck is happening?

So scratch that last blog, who honestly cares? I should just give up women for questioning one of the things that I'm good at. That's like asking should I keep pitching. Well speaking of pitching the Spartans were in action against the biggest cocksucker team in the nation, aka Anderson. Those fuckholes swept us because we decided to play like absolute dog shit. I closed in two games and blew a save for the loss, fml. That isn't like me. I'm usually a very dominating pitcher against D-3 guys. However, i fucked that one up. Then we were already down 6-0 when I came in the third to give limited relief. We suck. Hopefully every member of the team finds a slump buster tonight and does the riteous thing to get back on track. Personally, I'm drinking myself silly and hitting on some girl with a boyfriend who is twice my size.

Life comes at you in bursts

So for several weeks and maybe even months now I haven't really pursued a member of the opposite sex, nor one of the same sex for that matter. However, within the past several days opportunities have made themselves very available for me. Unfortunately, as soon as slutting becomes easy again I don't feel right doing it. I'm doing great in baseball and my school work is still chugging along and I am feeling more and more like starting a relationship, fml. This is not entirely unlike me however. I tend to change my opinion of sexual encounters as the days go by. There is one girl who I could see liking but she isn't exactly the moral girl you take home to mom. There is another girl who is the moral girl for mother but isn't exactly the right match for me. Then there is the girl from my past. She is perfect for me and I regret every day that I let her go. So my real predicament here is what do I do and who do I do. I'll probably stay the course and bung the ones that are bungable but who knows. I would say fml but many would pay to be in my position. I will probably follow the advice of He who is to be named later because all the children will tell me to bung away.

This blog is primarily rambling and I don't mind. Thoughts are jumbled in your brain and its easier to dump them all out and go over them later than figure them out in your head.

News from the Spartan Athletic Desk

The mighty Spartans went to Texas this past week and got royally ass fucked by Texas flamethrowers. We showed up expecting another successful spring trip only to get beat in 12 innings game one 7-6 and slaughtered by the same team day 2 20-7. Fuck us right. Well our spirits were still high even though we lost purely from errors. Texas teams live and die by the fastball but they can mash the shit out of a fastball. Luckily, the might Spartans averaged 5 errors a game and didn't hit anything above 85 mph. We went into day three against a different team again wanting to dominate. We had our ace on the mound and high hopes of a victory. However, the errors continued and the pitching plummeted and we lost 10-7. Day 4 we traveled to the big D and with the change of scenery and surroundings we wanted and needed a victory. C-Mall jumped on the bump and started us out fabulously. We had a 6-3 lead going into the 7th and then yours truly came to take the ball. I finished strong allowing one hit and one run, however they were both in the 7th and it wasn't my run. He was left on base by Mallery. I completed the game for the save and the mighty Spartans came home victorious.

Chapter 5 of the future book:
You can f%$* the fat ones, you can f#@$ the ugly ones, but you cannot f&%* the fat, ugly ones.

And for Sir He Is To Be Named At A Later Point, different area codes and no commitment allows you to have an open and completely fun relationship to the point where you don't hurt yourself. It is like a test drive that allows you to truly see the best sides of both people and you can decide after you gather all necessary information which one is worth you. Best of luck bro.

Chapter 4 and then some

So I know that I was going to give all my faithful readers a point by point crash course in picking up their dream girl, however, after the initial pickup and encounter it is up to you not to be an idiot. I like to think that if you are yourself no matter what you will be much happier and less depressed every time you see your significant other. If you are forced to be someone you are not then bad things will always happen. So talk to her, but be yourself. Don't use words that you don't know the meaning to in order to sound smart. And don't talk like a thug to seem tough. Just be yourself.

On a lighter note. The baseball team got stuck in the mud at IU Southeast today and lost both games, 11-9 and 4-0. Yours truly was the lucky one to acquire the loss of game one. I came in in the clutch in the 4th inning with bases loaded and 1 out. Luckily I got out of that one unscathed after going 3-0 on a batter. The score was 7-4 at that time the mighty spartans were losing. The grenadiers then scored a run in the 5th only to be outmatched by a grand slam by corey oeding the following inning. With the score tied 8-8 yours truly once again went to the mound in the bottom of the 6th to give up a three run homer. This lead to disaster as we went on to lose 11-9. Fuck my life. Spartans are in action tomorrow at 1 o'clock against Marian College.

Chapter 3

After you begin the conversation and have her attention don't be too needy. Give her space but not too much that she forgets you. And finally, the ultimate rule that I have disregarded several times, if you like her and she likes you and you are happy in a relationship, don't fuck it up. That is don't just break up with her for no apparent reason. You will live to regret it.


"You never know what you have until it's gone."

Chapter 2

As I said earlier there are different ways to approach different situations. However, many of these situations are impossible to write about. You just have to be aware of your surroundings. Also, you have to be aware of yourself. No woman is out of reach! However, if you are stumbling when you walk and can't see straight it may not be wise for you to approach the girl. Unfortunately, it is these times that you have the most confidence and are most likely to say hello. Avoid these situations!!! Granted she may be a drinker and partier but the more you are able to keep control the more attractive you become. Girls don't want someone they have to babysit. So if it is at all possible avoid being drunk on your first encounter.

There are many different situations. For sake of not writing a thousands pages I will concentrate on one. You see a girl and simply want to get to know her better, not strictly sexually either. So, you have broken the ice and are now having a decent conversation. However, it gets to the point where talking stops and it becomes an awkward situation. At this point it is best to leave. Give a polite and courteous thank you and good bye and it was a pleasure to meet you. REMEMBER, its not worth chasing a girl all over to get her to like you. Either she does or she doesn't and you only have a little say in the matter. If she likes you after the conversation there is a good possiblity that if you keep an eye out, casually, then you could possibly do it again. The second time is a time for joking and casual teasing. Eliminate the awkward middle ground and begin joking and lightening up the mood. However, don't go too far. "You look slutty" is not a joke. Games, while sometimes cheesy, are great ways to begin poking fun at each other. If you begin the teasing and she responds positively, then you succeeded and are allowed to continue. But not too much. She is not your brother you cannot constantly haze her. Also, flirting is different from teasing. Flirting begins and ends with a smile, teasing with no regards to others reactions ends with you being alone again. After the flirting phase comes the being alone phase, however that's another blog.

"Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer." Spiro T. Agnew
Don't be a fool and don't try to tame women, its a losing battle.

Woman Chronicles

So I have been talking to friends lately and after several extensive conversations I have decided that I should write a book of all the things I know or think I know about women. And seeing as how I only really know of one woman who reads this blog I am hoping that her comments will help perfect my comments.

There are not very many things that I know but there are things that I do know and situations that I have been in that others would benefit from. When I was younger I was always afraid to make initial contact with girls. However, once I started talking to them it was easy to keep a conversation going. So the initial icebreaker was always the problem. There are a few guys who use lines to get a girls initial attention. I am a firm believer that if you try too hard she will be able to see right through you. And you never want her to know your ultimate intentions. A casual conversation and a subtle goodbye is always more beneficial than a cheesy line and following her around all night. Girls know if they are interested from the first word you say. If your first line is about a polar bear, you may get a laugh but you'll also be alone that night. If you start a conversation casually and leave when the conversation is done. There is a chance that you will run into each other again that night. And if you were actually able to talk to her there may be a chance that she doesn't think you're just like every other guy and give you another chance.

An icebreaker does not start with the word "I." It usually is a question. You notice something about her that you have in common and ask her about it. When she responds then share how you are connected. But not too much. She doesn't want you to walk across the room to talk about yourself. Tell enough to stimulate further conversation but not so much that she turns and leaves. If you walk up to her and go completely blank don't freak out. A stuttering start is not always a bad thing. Keep to the plan and ask her something. If you fail and walk away there is still a chance that later on you and her will be able to laugh about your awful failure. It is only a failure if you fail to correct it. Women aren't scary but conversations are. Your major objective is to start talking and don't stick your foot in your mouth. Once you say it, you can't take it back. Keep in mind there are different ways to approach different women and different ways to act depending on your intentions. But I will talk about those later.

"It is with our passions, as it is with fire and water, they are good servants but bad masters." Aesop