There was once a triad of confidantes. These three pulchritudinous gentlemen were all very sagacious. However, their love life was troublous. These men were not schlubs nor schlocks, yet their effulgent attributes were seldom discerned. The vituperation these men received, due to their winsome personages, was nearly intolerable. However, one fine day these intellectually gifted men saw there opportunity to become decried. These vindicates envisioned an inventive vernal vendetta. The vade mecum vituperation from the viceroy validated the vex brought by the vociferates. The vitiation by the venerable enemies was validated as evil. The vendettan's veracious verbatum vindictively persuaded the masses to virgule the vexing vagrants.
I'm out of v things to say. But for those who read the VP is now the P and this guy is now the VP.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana
"Some people will make headlines while others make history." Philip Elmer-DeWitt
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Loop holes
So blogger world, I have finally returned from my soma holiday. I should be writing a paper that is due tomorrow however instead I have decided to enlighten you with a few technicalities.
The conversation was sparked today about whether or not it was sinful to have "relations" with someone else's girlfriend. After a rather painstaking argument the conclusion was No, if fact God probably made these loop holes to encourage it. You are probably saying to yourself now, "Josh please explain." So I say "sure."
The first four commandments are pretty self explanatory. Have no God before me, Don't idol anything else, Don't use His name in vein, and remember the Sabbath. These 4 really have no bearing on the matter.
Honor thy mother and father: I would think parents would be proud of their child if they raised him well enough to win a girls heart over another guy. And if you bring home a nice girl they would be honored.
Thou shalt not murder: Well obviously you don't have to kill the guy to have "relations" with his girlfriend
Thou shalt not commit adultery: You aren't married so you're good to go.
Thou shalt not steal: Consider their relationship more of a lease, technically he doesn't own her so you aren't stealing her from him. And if it turns sour you can always give her back.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor: I'm not really sure what that means but if he takes you to court, just tell the truth, "I'm sorry I'm better than he is and that she wants me more, my bad." No false witness.
Do not covet your neighbors house: I don't want anything in his house, they are living together or anything and he isn't my neighbor, we don't live anywhere near each other.
Do not covet your neighbors wife: Well they obviously aren't married and again he isn't my neighbor.
So that pretty much covers the Ten Commandments and I think this is a pretty convincing argument.
P.S. T2 this blog is not intended for you in any way shape or form, it is an entirely different situation and meant to justify other interactions.
"It isn't against the law if you don't get caught." Yours truly
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." Sir Winston Churchill (the guy was such a bad-ass)
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." Don't remember exactly who said it but I'm taking credit for it here.
The conversation was sparked today about whether or not it was sinful to have "relations" with someone else's girlfriend. After a rather painstaking argument the conclusion was No, if fact God probably made these loop holes to encourage it. You are probably saying to yourself now, "Josh please explain." So I say "sure."
The first four commandments are pretty self explanatory. Have no God before me, Don't idol anything else, Don't use His name in vein, and remember the Sabbath. These 4 really have no bearing on the matter.
Honor thy mother and father: I would think parents would be proud of their child if they raised him well enough to win a girls heart over another guy. And if you bring home a nice girl they would be honored.
Thou shalt not murder: Well obviously you don't have to kill the guy to have "relations" with his girlfriend
Thou shalt not commit adultery: You aren't married so you're good to go.
Thou shalt not steal: Consider their relationship more of a lease, technically he doesn't own her so you aren't stealing her from him. And if it turns sour you can always give her back.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor: I'm not really sure what that means but if he takes you to court, just tell the truth, "I'm sorry I'm better than he is and that she wants me more, my bad." No false witness.
Do not covet your neighbors house: I don't want anything in his house, they are living together or anything and he isn't my neighbor, we don't live anywhere near each other.
Do not covet your neighbors wife: Well they obviously aren't married and again he isn't my neighbor.
So that pretty much covers the Ten Commandments and I think this is a pretty convincing argument.
P.S. T2 this blog is not intended for you in any way shape or form, it is an entirely different situation and meant to justify other interactions.
"It isn't against the law if you don't get caught." Yours truly
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." Sir Winston Churchill (the guy was such a bad-ass)
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." Don't remember exactly who said it but I'm taking credit for it here.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
You just badassed him
Badass- b-aa-d azz (ed): (n) meaning to be tough or cool or not Dale. (v) to completely and utterly dominate someone's existence. To straight up own someone. Holy shit you just badassed that guy.
Speaking of badass, I am going to get my BadAss degree, because I am going to finish spanish this year, HOORAY.
So onto blogging. I forgot to make a shout out to The Good One in the last blog. He has been playing phenomenally lately and definitely deserves a spot in the blog. So keep up the good work.
This blog was going to be about colors but I have amended that decision to make it about people in general. I have realized people are weird. You honestly never know about people. Sometimes you think you know everything there is to know about someone just to find out there is soooo much more. Someone you have known for a long time can suddenly change. People are not always what they seem. The whole don't judge a book by its cover thing is definitely true. Also, I just realized that as hard as you try sometimes the person you want the most you just can't have. There are always obstacles to overcome. Sometimes these obstacles are tiny and one can easily hurdle them, while other times they are massive and seem impossible to jump. These obstacles test your true feelings. However, people are merely people. They are weird, corky, and unexplainable. People are different. Some people wear all their feelings on their sleeves others keep them bottled up so deep, so nobody would ever know how bad they hurt or how much they love. These are the people who this blog is intended for. I understand this isn't my usual blogging style but it seems relevant for the time. People change and sometimes it seems as if they change for the worst but other times they seem better off. It is how you perceive them that makes it so.
There is always a chance that someday (s)he will be there, and not just there but there to be with you. Sometimes the person you are looking for is right in front of you. Sometimes you settle for someone because it is easier than finding the person you need. Sometimes the person you want the most is just a friend.
"People are weird" Josh "the philosopher" Atkinson
"Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others." Winston Churchill
"It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see." Winston Churchill
Speaking of badass, I am going to get my BadAss degree, because I am going to finish spanish this year, HOORAY.
So onto blogging. I forgot to make a shout out to The Good One in the last blog. He has been playing phenomenally lately and definitely deserves a spot in the blog. So keep up the good work.
This blog was going to be about colors but I have amended that decision to make it about people in general. I have realized people are weird. You honestly never know about people. Sometimes you think you know everything there is to know about someone just to find out there is soooo much more. Someone you have known for a long time can suddenly change. People are not always what they seem. The whole don't judge a book by its cover thing is definitely true. Also, I just realized that as hard as you try sometimes the person you want the most you just can't have. There are always obstacles to overcome. Sometimes these obstacles are tiny and one can easily hurdle them, while other times they are massive and seem impossible to jump. These obstacles test your true feelings. However, people are merely people. They are weird, corky, and unexplainable. People are different. Some people wear all their feelings on their sleeves others keep them bottled up so deep, so nobody would ever know how bad they hurt or how much they love. These are the people who this blog is intended for. I understand this isn't my usual blogging style but it seems relevant for the time. People change and sometimes it seems as if they change for the worst but other times they seem better off. It is how you perceive them that makes it so.
There is always a chance that someday (s)he will be there, and not just there but there to be with you. Sometimes the person you are looking for is right in front of you. Sometimes you settle for someone because it is easier than finding the person you need. Sometimes the person you want the most is just a friend.
"People are weird" Josh "the philosopher" Atkinson
"Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others." Winston Churchill
"It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see." Winston Churchill
What are friends for
So last night I passed the friend test in flying colors with the prodigy. He was supposed to meet this girl and unfortunately for me, this girl had a friend. So on the way home from Cincinnati I was made aware that I would be accompanying the friend that night. At first I said "absolutely not." However, after much persuasion I agreed to help him out and hang out with the friend. So long story short, after a very uncomfortable night with like 10 minutes of awkward sleep, I finally past the friend test and was able to leave and sleep in my own room until 3 in the afternoon. Yes it was an extremely awkward night and an even more awkward morning. No I didn't do anything with the friend, if thats what you are thinking. This night was a real downer for me because I was on a high after a very successful pitching performance on my part. Granted we were down 12-4 and it was the last inning so my actions didn't mean anything but I succeeded none the less. After the awkward night, the roommates and I decided to go golfing. I think I set a course record for worst round of golf in the history of mankind. It included 15 pathetic drives (on nine holes), me throwing my driver, not completing a hole out of frustration, and probably 10 lost balls. But seriously who wants to be good at golf anyways. So if the prodigy reads this blog, you're lucky that you're my friend otherwise this weekend would be almost unforgivable. There will definitely be a blog later on about something more interesting but this one is enough for now.
P.S. Thanks he who is to be named later for being there when I needed you, even though I didn't accept your offer.
"We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them." Thucydides
"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends." Walt Whitman (guy whose poems Noah reads on the Notebook in case you were wondering.)
P.S. Thanks he who is to be named later for being there when I needed you, even though I didn't accept your offer.
"We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them." Thucydides
"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends." Walt Whitman (guy whose poems Noah reads on the Notebook in case you were wondering.)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Second Procrastination post of the night
One day this bear was chasing this squirrel through the woods. The squirrel turned the corner and ran into a golden lamp. When the bear came around he also tripped over the lamp and this time a genie popped out. The genie looked slightly confused and asked which of them had rubbed the lamp. After extensive argument the genie decided to give them both three wishes. The bear, being the bear said he would go first. He said, "I wish all the other bears in the world were females." The genie nodded his head and it was so. The squirrel quickly said, "I want a helmet." The genie looked confused but nodded his head and a helmet appeared. The bear then laughed and said "I want all the female bears to be constantly horny." The genie nodded his head and it was so. The squirrel said, "I want a moped." Again the genie looked confused but nodded his head and there appeared a moped. The bear then said "I want all the female bears to be straight that way they can only have sex and love me." The genie nodded his head once again and it was so. The squirrel then put on his helmet and started his moped and began driving away. When he was almost out of ear shot he yelled back, "I wish the bear was gay." Moral of the story: squirrels are smarter than bears.
The End
The End
Molybdenum
I've found the cure for everything in life and it is molybdenum. It is the 42 element on the periodic table and is classified as a metal similar to lead. It was discovered by Helman Hall in 1778. Check it outs, it's pretty sweet. I actually wrote an entire paper on old Mo in seventh grade if that tells you how good of a bullshitter I am.
I called in sick last night to the NBA, National Bloggers Association, so that is why there wasn't a post. Today's post is going to primarily random but I may come up with an actual theme sometime. First off, I found my opportunity to lead a revolution. RHA!!! It's the perfect organization to organize a coup. First off the VP wants to become the P and this guy wants to become the VP. However, there is mild discomfort in regards to the possible outcome of the elections. However, in all good revolutions the opposition is silenced. So all that need be done is silence those who oppose you and threaten your journey to greatness. Look at Stalin, it worked for him. So revolution and governmental uprising here I come.
Second on the list of blogger randomness is relationships. Recently two friends of mine were brought to the realization that there significant others had cheated on them. This has caused quite a ruckus. The atmospheric pressure and planetary movement has been all thrown off because of these happenings. But eventually everything will probably work out for the best. The girls were kind of bitches anyways. However, you can never be too careful because one of them had been going on for about 4 years.
Third and final topic for tonight: facebook. As if facebook weren't already the ultimate stalkers website they were kind enough to add a messenger on to it. If you hadn't noticed there is a little bar at the bottom of your facebook screen, if you click on the buddies icon you will be able to see every one of your friends that is on and talk to them. Very cool for those certain people who you don't know but want to say "I want to be on you" to.
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Franklin D. Roosevelt
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." someone with a really awkward name
"Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place." Billy Crystal
I called in sick last night to the NBA, National Bloggers Association, so that is why there wasn't a post. Today's post is going to primarily random but I may come up with an actual theme sometime. First off, I found my opportunity to lead a revolution. RHA!!! It's the perfect organization to organize a coup. First off the VP wants to become the P and this guy wants to become the VP. However, there is mild discomfort in regards to the possible outcome of the elections. However, in all good revolutions the opposition is silenced. So all that need be done is silence those who oppose you and threaten your journey to greatness. Look at Stalin, it worked for him. So revolution and governmental uprising here I come.
Second on the list of blogger randomness is relationships. Recently two friends of mine were brought to the realization that there significant others had cheated on them. This has caused quite a ruckus. The atmospheric pressure and planetary movement has been all thrown off because of these happenings. But eventually everything will probably work out for the best. The girls were kind of bitches anyways. However, you can never be too careful because one of them had been going on for about 4 years.
Third and final topic for tonight: facebook. As if facebook weren't already the ultimate stalkers website they were kind enough to add a messenger on to it. If you hadn't noticed there is a little bar at the bottom of your facebook screen, if you click on the buddies icon you will be able to see every one of your friends that is on and talk to them. Very cool for those certain people who you don't know but want to say "I want to be on you" to.
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." Franklin D. Roosevelt
"A goal without a plan is just a wish." someone with a really awkward name
"Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place." Billy Crystal
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
French Onion Sun Chips
Today the unsponsored Spartan baseball team in action against the Helman sponsored Anderson Ravens. Luckily for Helman Hall, the Anderson Ravens dominated everything about the poor spartans. There was very little baseball actually played today by the Spartans. They showed up to the field in their nice white uniforms and proceeded to be demolished. The real excitement began after the game had concluded however. While in the locker room, several juniors made a few comments that angered several seniors. As soon as this fight reached its peak, a pitcher made a comment about hitting which was immediately rebutted by a comment from a hitter. So to make a long story short there is trouble in paradise with the Spartan baseball team and the absolute destruction handed to us by the Helman sponsored Ravens didn't help.
I would like to begin by saying that I am extremely disappointed in the VP for doing work the past couple nights. Maybe this is the VPs way of telling me that our relationship is over, but I will pretend that I didn't get the memo. Maybe I didn't get the memo because the VP hasn't talked to me in like a week. But I do appreciate the good night, it made my day.
International law says under Article 4 paragraph 3 section l in the UN Charter that "Dale is a bitch, so fuck off."
So anyways, tonight was a blast. The roommate, he who is to be named later, and myself spent a little over an hour driving around the country. It was awesome. Definitely better than doing homework. I was able to just relax and forget about the large amount of work that is due. I'm still looking for that revolutionary opportunity if you find one. Tomorrow I have this feeling that I am either going to be extremely happy or in a very bad mood so be wary.
I think I have wasted enough time with this useless blog. No quotes for tonight. Sorry
I would like to begin by saying that I am extremely disappointed in the VP for doing work the past couple nights. Maybe this is the VPs way of telling me that our relationship is over, but I will pretend that I didn't get the memo. Maybe I didn't get the memo because the VP hasn't talked to me in like a week. But I do appreciate the good night, it made my day.
International law says under Article 4 paragraph 3 section l in the UN Charter that "Dale is a bitch, so fuck off."
So anyways, tonight was a blast. The roommate, he who is to be named later, and myself spent a little over an hour driving around the country. It was awesome. Definitely better than doing homework. I was able to just relax and forget about the large amount of work that is due. I'm still looking for that revolutionary opportunity if you find one. Tomorrow I have this feeling that I am either going to be extremely happy or in a very bad mood so be wary.
I think I have wasted enough time with this useless blog. No quotes for tonight. Sorry
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