Can't end on 13

So my last blog was number 13 and I can't leave it at that so I'm writing another. I've decided to make this one about my life. Many people think they know me but in fact they only know a very very small portion of who I am. First of all many people don't know that I have always lived on a farm. I was born in Hartford City, IN and lived with my mom and grandparents until I was 4. I have never met my father before and for that fact I don't even know his name, but I don't care about that. Anyways, I grew up in the country and spent my time in the great outdoors. When I was 8 my mom married my stepdad, Mike. We moved to his house which is a big three story log cabin. There I really began my farm life. I raised chickens, goats, and show cattle. I had cashmere goats, like cashmere sweaters. I did this until I came to college. Also, all through my life I have played sports, mainly baseball. I also ran cross country and track and a little soccer. In high school I wasn't the average kid. Many people were in one social group, but not me. I was in FFA, I was actually President of Freshman FFA, also a member of the parliamentary procedure and soil judging team. I was an athlete, I lettered 7 times, and was all-conference once. I was also one of the "smart kids," with all the honors and stuff. Many of you say well you're just the average "good" kid. But I also hung out with alot of the "druggies." I never did drugs but for some reason they trusted me and it seemed like a better idea to have them as friends rather than enemies since they were usually the ones who got into fights haha. I never had many people who didn't like me and if I did, because I hung out with so many people, there were a lot more people who disliked them because of them not liking me.
I like to think of myself as a very well rounded person. I can do many things that people never thought possible of me. However, here it seems that people are only interested in one particular me. If I'm not the rich kid, or the smart kid, or the baseball player then I am nothing here. This doesn't seem right to me. If I meet someone they will never know the true me. I'm not just a few things. I am a unique person with many skills and attributes. Hopefully, after reading this you will know a little more about me.

I'm kind of in a Winston Churchill mood so another quote from him to end on. "Everyone has his day and some days just last longer than others."

One of those days

Today has just been one of those days. You know the kind of day that you just can't wait to get done with but you have so much to do that it just drags on. I finally got my computer half way fixed but it still isn't acting right. I've stopped researching and working because it's just irritating me at the moment and I don't want to do it right now. Winston Churchill may have been an extraordinary person but right now he is a real fuck. The Cubs lost today. Sorry for reminding you Erp and Char, since you may be reading this now. But anyways this loss doesn't really effect me it just seems kind of sad that they lost. I understand their pain. We lost in extra innings to Rose-Hulman and it sucked balls. Since I'm on the subject of baseball, the thought crossed my mind again about whether or not I really want to play anymore. It's kind of scary because I can't remember a time when I haven't played baseball. Hopefully I pitch tomorrow and cheer up about the whole thing. I was talking to a freshman today about school and stuff and he said that he just didn't think that he could keep up anymore. I tried telling him that everyone feels that way and that he could if he put his mind to it. However, relating this to me, it's not that I can't keep up and succeed it's that I just don't want to at the moment. The Great Erp said that this last weekend was completely boring, but for some reason to me it was the exact opposite. It was probably the most fun I've had here in a really long time. Between school, baseball, love life or lack there of, and my computer crashing I've been put in a pretty crappy mood inside. On a brighter note, I was able to wear shorts to class today for the first time this year. Also, while I was running today for baseball I thought to myself, "It's just life, people have gone through it before and done fine, and if some of the people I see on tv and other places can succeed then shit can't be that hard."

"For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself." Sir Winston Churchill. This doesn't really have anything to do with the blog but I really like this quote.
Also, as my blog is so cleverly titled. "It's just life" and it could always be worse.

I'm Back

I haven't blogged in quite some time now. That is because my computer crashed and I have been unable to do anything. However, now it is fixed. I had to use my restoration disks and pretty much deleted everything I had on it. It isn't completely bad though. I added a couple awesome applications to my mozilla firefox. Zotero helps me while researching which as a history major I do quite a bit of. Blogrovr alerts me when anyone blogs which I try to keep up with constantly. And Digsby is like aim only I can keep track of facebook and email notification through it as well. I don't remember exactly what my last blog was about so I will just start fresh. I made a list of things to write about when my computer started working again. It included things like baseball, love life, life on other planets, my general attitude and shit like that. And actually I don't think I'm going to write about any of those right now. I want to gather some thoughts and I may write a good one tonight. This was merely to fulfill my addiction of blogging.

New things

Follow up blog, sorry there are two you don't have to read them they are more for my thoughts.

This blog is going to be completely different from the last one. This one is going to be about different kinds of feelings. I think whatever The Great Erp was suffering from the past few weeks has passed to me. I haven't really wanted to say anything because I expected the feelings to pass. However, they haven't. Lately I have been "love sick" to quote a fellow teammate with similar problems. It isn't lustful but more just a need to be wanted. I think this is also why I am having mixed feelings for baseball. Lately, I have been seeing people in relationships and feeling very jealous. Earlier I was talking to a girl from South Bend who actually seemed to kind of like me, which is really weird if you knew the situation. However, it felt good to talk to someone like that. I find myself listening to music more than I ever have and I think it is to try and escape my own thoughts.
I know that my friends are here and they are very close to me but as you know it isn't the same. I am sure these feelings will pass eventually but it is starting to be depressing and aggravating. Sorry if I bored you the next one will be more uplifting.

Choices

Do you ever dream about what your life will be like in the future. Lately, these thoughts have continued to distract me. I am constantly asking myself if the choices I am making now are the right ones for me later in life. Will I look back and regret anything.
Baseball has always been a huge part of my life. Ever since I could pick up a ball I have been playing catch. For the most part I believe that I have always been extremely gifted. I may not be the most talented but I was always dependable and never was seriously injured. Even as a freshman last year. Players knew that they could depend on me in tough situations and usually succeed. This seems like a major tangent from the first paragraph, but today I got the opportunity to pitch again and didn't succeed. I came in relief and only pitched 1/3 of an inning before being taken back out. As I was sitting on the bench afterwards the thought crossed my mind about quitting. My arm has been hurting lately and I am nowhere near as good as I once was. At first I thought it was just because I was mad at my performance, but now I'm not sure. I know that I would probably regret it in the future, but who knows. In all my dreams of the future baseball has never been a part of it. I've never really had the dreams of playing in the big league or coaching or anything. I love to play now but if I'm not playing well and am not happy with my performances is it really worth the pain of losing. I'm writing this pretty early so there will probably be a follow up blog later on once my head clears a little.

p.s. I highly doubt that I will give up ball anytime soon, these are just thoughts that concern me.

Apologies

It was brought to my attention today by another beautiful young princess that by posting my last blog I could have stolen the dreams of many young girls who wanted to be princesses. That was not my intention, I was merely elaborating on a conversation held here last night. So for all those young "princesses" out there who are reading this blog, I apologize and you can still be a princess.

Those childhood princesses

I know all of you thought Snow White and Cinderella and Jasmine and all those other princesses were sexy as children. Hell I think they are hot now. However, after much research and debate it can be concluded that they probably all had bushes. Snow White was probably a little slut sleeping around with those seven guys. Cinderella may have been shaved cleaned because she had to get ready for a ball. Jasmine was Pakistani so she probably definitely had a bush. The little mermaid was likely to be clean but that is only because she didn't really have a downstairs to be shaved. However, the real story is about Rapunzel. That sexy long-haired nymph it has been concluded probably had an enormous bush. While some say that she would have been clean because she was a princess, an historian came up with the response that women of that time would not have been properly shaved. However, the debate is still out. If anyone who reads this who isn't already involved in the debate your comments are welcome.